Friday, August 16, 2013

Bordizzle My Nizzle: The Lyrics to the Bordeaux Rap

(Credit to for this lovely map.  Good map-making WineFolly)
Many of you have asked us to put up the lyrics to the Bordeaux rap which Jason decided to reel off while Ben was on vacation.  Below are the lyrics, which list all 60 of the first through fifth growths (61, as Jason decided to give a little tip of the cap to the oft-changed Chateau Dubignon which has since been absorbed by its neighbors).  

See if you can spot all 60...some are labeled, some have been turned into verbs to make for a better rap.
Remember, the wine game and the rap game are very similar.  Peace Homies.

Bordizzle My Nizzle:

It’s 1855 and all of Europe is stressed, It’s the Universelle Exposition of Paris…
Ya see it’s coming up fast and they wanna see the wines yo
But how will they determine which of these are just divine yo? 

Napolean the 3rd (not the little one ya heard?) got his courtiers
Together and he said “Yo what’s the word?” 
The courtiers came back and said “Yo here is the best stack,
58 chateaus certified in black.”  
The list has changed it now sits at 61 I’m gonna
Do a little rap and I will tell you every one. 

Mac Daddy Premier Cru, ain’t even close
They started out with four that they called first growth. 
Chateau Lafite Rothchild, Chateau Margaux,
Chateau Latour, and Chateau Haut Brion.
After tons of complaining saying “ME! ME! ME!”
Mouton Rothchild…1973. 

2nd Growth is next we call um Deuxieme Cru
You can do me a favor and pour me some too. 
Mouton was once there but now you see,
that he’s decided that he no longer deigns to be. 
Rausan Segla…Rausan Gassies,
and then you have the famous Leoville’s by 3: 
La Caz, Poyferre, and then Barton,
Sympathizes with their status Longville Baron
There’s another Pichon that’ll come right along,
Chateau Longueville Comtesse de Lalande
And we should make it even
mention Durfort Vivens as
well as well you know
Gruaud Larose
Now I can’t enact…a proper act…
without Chateau Brane Cantenac
And my hair would be a dome if it wasn’t for Lascombes
You can tell what’s swell well well
Cos d’Estournel,
I propose this prose with a single Montrose,
I need a wine to chew, with this lovely stew
If it’s okay by you
I’m a do what I do
Yo I always stay true
I just do what I do with my favorite

Now I’m a sommelier
Listen to what I say
you need to romance the 3rd’s

Hop into your Kirwan or your Nissan D’Issan
We’ll hit the Lagrange and pass the Langoa Barton
Giscours Lagune Dubignon Need air
Palmer, Ferriere, Marquis D’Alesme Becker

Desmirail while you sit there recooperating  
You can Open Malescot St. Exupery. 
Calon-Segur get down
Wi-with that Cantenac Brown
Can’t avoid Cantenac
You get dat Boyd-Cantenac. 
1, 2, 3, and to the 4th growth…
St. Pierre and also the Talbot
Branaire Ducru if you even care
You could be a fly Duhart-Milon-air. 
That Rouge is okay from Chateau Pouget
Let me take you on the full La Tour Carnet
And Lafon Rochet…this NWA, is OWA,
Because these growths don’t change. 
You want some Beychevelle wit dat Bechamel??
Prieure-Lichine is another on the team. 
No Quarter system it’s Marquis de Termes…
If you gonna buy um den you gotta share um.
This rhyme is money you can tell this aint no cash or carry
Gravel Deposits in the left bank of the Estuary. 

Here we go
yeah we gonna 5 grow
and I’m so excited that you’re here for the show
Let’s start with Grand Puy Ducasse
I wonder what it Grand Puy Lacostes! 
We gonna get weird like a new Baz Lurhman,
Spittin’ rhymes in the cellar like a Lynch-Bages Sermon
Don’t lynch-Bages, Lynch Moussas,
Batailley, Haut-Batailley just listin to the Musssac. 
Dauzac, What’s dat? You wanna keep goin?
Clerc Milon Point so you know I keep flowin’. 
Whatcha want a wizard think you Cantehmerle—in
Count them all in and see me Twirlin’. 
Drinking Cos Labory feelin’ all fancy free
Pontet-Canet got dem silent T’s! 
I got futures in my pocket like a real wine criminal! 
Croizet Bages and the Haut-Bages Liberal,
Pedesclaux!!!!!!! I dropped it like it’s hot…
Dug you up a hole and put you in your Belgrave…
Didn’t need a coffin yo….tannins were fat. 
I scrunched you right up in a Camensac
Back from the black puttin’ on the attack
Corkscrew open up a D’Armailhac 

That’s what up
I Chateau Tertre it up…walked away from
The Mic
Cuz I’m done with this stuff. 

Those are growths one through 5
Hope you’re all feelin’ live live live live live.    

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